To The Editor:
The date was October 17, 2008. The event was a modified boys soccer game at the Berlin Jr/Sr High School soccer field. The contestants were Berlin and Waterford. Waterford can be unfriendly, unsporting and unpleasant all around. But the Berlin players were ready. There was but one game left after this game.
There was but one Waterford parent on the sideline, which always makes me feel bad for the players as players of that age thrive when parents are on the sideline. When the opening whistle sounded, the one parent began his barrage of insults, foul language and negativity at the players on both teams and at both referees. This continued, steadily, until the head referee decided it was time to put an end to this nonsense. He walked to the man and began speaking (this occurred on the opposite side of the field and was not audible on the team side). No sooner did he start to speak when the referee turned and ran to the team side of the field. As he called the other coach and me to the center line, I could see he was clearly upset. He briefly explained that the game would be terminated unless we removed that parent from the sideline.
So, we walked to the sideline. The other coach started to speak, and the man went absolutely into a rage I have only seen once before in my coaching years. I chimed in with a brief statement explaining in a loud, forceful kind of voice that “if you don’t leave, we won’t play and so good-bye.” He became even more enraged and used some language I hesitate to speak much less write down. But he walked to parking lot of the school, or so we thought.
At halftime, I was going over the events of the first half and praising the team for the game they were playing – it was the best half of soccer they had played all season, and I was very proud. As I glanced over the boys’ shoulders, the vision of that parent walking up the hill and behind our bench was almost surreal. As he passed our bench, he spoke yet another insult with the same venom he had earlier. The language that spewed from his mouth was also spewing from one of the Waterford players at the young, new referee. At this point, instinctually, I told my players to gather the “stuff” as we are done. I told the head referee, who was a little stunned when he saw the parent coming back. He instructed me to notify the other coach, which I did. And we, the boys and me, walked to the locker room. There was no question, no argument, just a team gathered together in a walk from the field to the locker room. They supported my decision without hesitation. When we reached the locker room, there was, of course, some discussion, some frustration and some disappointment. I explained to them why I had them leave the field and they understood. I realized, and they explained, that the frustration and disappointment was not directed at me but at the man on the sideline.
In all my years, I’ve not felt as much pride in a team’s maturity, support and courage. I will forever remember that day, for all of its chaos and borderline insanity but also for the courage my young men showed and the maturity they displayed in the face of adversity. The game, you see, is for the players…and they took back the attention that was being stolen from them and turned a very negative situation into a marvelous display of teamwork.
Thank you boys…I will be forever grateful for your support and your hard work.
Ray Nelson
Berlin Boys Modified Soccer Team Coach