by David Flint
Calvin A. Haynes of East Nassau, NY, at the age of 24 enlisted in August 1862 at Troy in the 125th New York Infantry Regiment. His letters home to his wife Lucy have been transcribed by John Minitti of Winchester, MA, and are here reproduced, with some editing, courtesy of the New York State Library, Manuscripts and Special Collections.
Haynes is writing from Camp Douglas where he and fellow 125th soldiers are on parole following their surrender at Harpers Ferry in September, 1862.
In a number of letters prior to this, Haynes presents a picture of utter discouragement on his own part and that of his fellow soldiers. He writes of cold and sickness in a camp overrun with lice. He writes of the mutinous behavior of the men, which includes burning down the barracks. Many have deserted, including his brother-in-law Nathaniel Warden although Warden subsequently returns and is demoted from Corporal to Private. He writes of his loneliness, missing his wife and daughter and complains about not being paid and receiving few letters from home.
Camp Douglas Chicago –
Nov 19th 1862
My Dear Wife
I recieved your kind and welcome letter a few moments ago. I was so glad to hear from you, I did not know but you had forgotten me but it seems that you have not. It is strange that I have not recieved all of your letters. I have had some hopes of coming home but it has all vanished. We are exchanged and are ordred back to Washington. It is different from what I expected but it is so and we have all got to make the best of it.
Lucy you blamed me for not letting you come out here. Dont blame me for I would have been as glad to have had you come as you would to have come but I did it for your good. I would give the world to see you but I knew that it would be a taking away your money when you might need it for something else. I wish Lucy that we were in the same circumstances that we were last summer. I think that we would know what comfort was if we could once more be together, but it is not so and we must make the best of it until it can be so.
You must not blame me Lucy for leaving you and Ella. I thought that it was my duty to go and fight for my country, but if I was once more a free man I would stay so I think for we have been abused shamefully. They had ought to of let us come home when we were taken prisoners and then we could have enjoyed ourselves.
I think that we shall leave here tomorrow for Washington. It seems rather hard to be sent back to war again without the privilidge of going home when we might just as well have gone as not, but such is war. I would love to see you and Ella tonight. It would do my soul good but what is the use of thinking about it. All that we have got to do is to keep up good courage until we meet again. You have everything around you to make you comfortable but I have nothing. You had not ought to complain when I have it so much worse than you do. Oh Lucy if you knew what I have had to undrgo since I left you, you would not complain. The way to get along is to keep up good courage and not allow yourself to get down hearted.
You wanted to know if I ever looked at yours and Ella’s Ambrotype. You know I do. I carry Ella’s in my watch pocket and yours in my breast pocket to my coat. It makes me feel bad to look at them to think that they are not the orignal. I would sooner part with my last shirt than I would with them. I wrote a letter to you and directed it to Riders Mills since you left. George Hiter said that he took it out of the office and Maria opened it and read it and that they expected you back every day.
What do you do for money nowadays? Lucy have you got any, if you have not you must draw some out of the bank to use wont you. I dont know when we shall get paid off we may in a short time and we may not in six months, there is no telling anything about it.
I am tired and sleepy tonight. I was up on guard all last night. It rained all night but I did not have to be out doors.
They will pick up the boys that have deserted. Now they had better be carefull or they will take them before they know it. If I never come home until I desert, I shall never come. I dont believe that you would want to see me under such circumstances. I want to come home honorable when I do come. I hope that it will be so that we may take a good deal of comfort together yet and I think we shall. Take good care of little Ella and try and make a good girl of her for my sake wont you Lucy. I have got my sheet about full and I shall have to close and go to bed so good night. Dear Lucy, Kiss Ella for me good night.
CAH
(Direct letters to: CA Haynes 4th Sergt,
Co E 125th Regt, NYI)
