Disc Jam Is Slammed
By Thaddeus Flint
So, it was that time of year in Stephentown again. No, not Celebrate Stephentown! That’s in August. This was that somewhat semi-annual Town Board meeting where various residents come down to complain about one of those musical events that kept them up most of the night for a couple of nights in a row.
The event in question, this time, was Disc-Jam, and a good time was had by most who attended the four day festival at Gardner’s Farm, except probably the 75 people that were arrested and the unknown number of residents who found their quiet town turned into noisy days and sleepless nights. Also, new on the line-up this year, police chases.
The number of Stephentowners who came to the June 17 Board meeting to inform local officials about their sleeping problems over the weekend of June 6 to June 9 was rather low this time. In fact the number seems to be dropping year by year. It is unknown if residents are just less bothered by these events, or, if they have just given up making an effort to get things changed because their previous efforts to get things changed never really got things all that changed. Or maybe they were catching up on their sleep, who knows?
Anyway, there is usually one resident in attendance who eloquently sums up pretty much what everyone else who was annoyed wants to say, and this year it was The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler Attached. Unfortunately, his name was missed in the hubbub of the meeting. But, as the Town is rather small, it seems unlikely there is a significant population of such gentlemen toting these implements about, so probably everyone in Stephentown knows exactly who it is, except this reporter.
The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler Attached was not happy. Apparently, he has never been all that happy with these musical happenings, but this one seems to have irked him to the point of outrage. “I want to know why for four days each year we can’t sleep in this Town and have high-speed police chases down rural roads,” The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler Attached asked the Board. “We are really just inviting people into this Town that don’t belong here,” he added. As the gentleman lives on Southard Road–the other side of the hill from where most of the-people-that-don’t-belong-in-our-Town were located–one might think he would be rather insulated from the event. That is, unless he had to go to Town, or through it, in which case they were hard to avoid, along with the State Police who seem to really enjoy such weekends as well. The Troopers were everywhere and there were plenty of people standing along the roadsides of the Only Stephentown On Earth, their personal items strewn beside them, perhaps wondering if they had taken a wrong turn somewhere and stumbled into early eighties circa East Germany instead. At least one individual wanted no part in such activities and decided to be on his merry way. Feelings wounded, Troopers pursued, with the result being some kind of Dukes of Hazard re-enactment near the home of The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler. The gentleman was not entertained with such shenanigans on his road, which he referred to as a “cow path” totally unsuitable for such behavior.
Apparently the hill between the cow path and Disc Jam also failed at insulating The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler and others from the music. Most could probably have dealt with the noise if it had only shut off when they thought it was going to shut off, which was 1 am because the Town has a noise ordinance that says so. Also, the festival’s promoter, Tony Scavone, said so. But, why Scavone said so when he didn’t seem to really mean it had some questioning if either Scavone meant perhaps 1 am in another time zone, or something else.
“He’s just thumbing his nose at the Town,” said The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler.
He seems to be correct. The customary response to this line of thought is that some young rogues with a sound system that would make AC/DC jealous were off in the woods having an informal jam session for hundreds of their newfound friends. Councilman Gerry Robinson went down at night–or early morning–to see what was happening and was told by some genius kid he couldn’t do anything about it because “they were on private property.” Kids today, why do they think such things? Maybe because they were told the festival was going to continue on until morning?
The website NYS MUSIC, which informs the-people-that-don’t-belong-in-our-Town about these types of events held all over the Empire State, reported the week before Disc Jam that the festival would provide “relaxed vibes and nonstop good music until 3 in the morning every day.” Also mistaken? Probably not, because they published the Disk Jam flyer which shows amplified events taking place until early morning for Thursday and Friday and Saturday. One event, CIA & Friends, was even scheduled to end way-past-bedtime at 3:45 am.
Town Supervisor Larry Eckhart said that was probably the case because he was up around three answering phone calls from residents wondering if the noise ordinance was real or not. Eckhardt also said he could hear it and he lives even farther away from the “nonstop good music” and the-people-that-don’t-belong-in-our-Town than The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler. Why didn’t Neil Gardner do anything? some wondered. He lives just up the hill, surely he heard it too?
“I was asleep,” reported Gardner. He’d done a hard day of haying and needed some shuteye.
This admission really brought The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler to an angry boil. His face turned a frightening red in a way that might have given his own cardiologist a coronary. Luckily, EMT Rik McClave was on hand so the man would have been in good hands if he suddenly keeled over in a fury. Also lucky, was that the gentleman was a rational person, even after missing so much sleep, because he was carrying a large stick with an antler attached to it.
“You live here?” he asked Gardner with no shortage of vehement disbelief. “How the hell did you not hear it?”
“I was asleep,” said Gardner again, without sharing his technique that would seemingly allow restful slumber in war zones, and while on jet airliners with children.
The noise was in fact so loud that resident Tammy Whitman wanted to know if it was safe for the-people-that-don’t-belong-in-our-Town.
“Oh, they will be deaf someday,” replied McClave. However, as a representative of the Fire Department he seemed relatively pleased with the outcome of the event, reporting only two overdoses needing transport to local hospitals. Nobody died like that guy did at another festival last year, so not so bad. But, McClave was not as pleased with the event planners who somehow failed to notify the Fire and Rescue officials of the festival until just before it was to occur. “That’s not acceptable,” said McClave.
So where was the promoter, Scavone, to respond to all these people? “I’m kind of sad he didn’t make it to the meeting,” said Eckhardt. Maybe Scavone saw a guy with a large stick with an antler on it entering the Town Hall and decided to skip? Nobody knows. However, social media was all lit up about Scavone last week, after various women came forward accusing the promoter of sexual assault. Maybe he was lying low?
“They won’t be back,” said Gardner of Scavone and Disc Jam. Such news wasn’t all that soothing, though, for The Man With The Large Stick With An Antler and others who cherish their peace and quiet – because – who will replace them? In response, Councilwoman Pam Kueppers asked, and the Board agreed, that the next workshop meeting of July 8 focus largely on such events, with a goal of giving the noise ordinance some teeth when it comes to enforcement. Gardner said he would also attend. “Should I bring my lawyer?” he asked.